Addictive behavior in relationships can cause lasting emotional and physical harm for both partners. When someone is struggling with substance abuse, their priorities, feelings, and actions begin to change. This shift affects their loved ones and can make maintaining a healthy relationship difficult. Addiction often leads to secrecy, mistrust, and emotional distance, leaving partners feeling unsupported and unsure how to help.
At Rego Park Counseling, we provide outpatient mental health and substance abuse treatment in Queens, NY. Our programs support individuals, couples, and families through therapy, education, and recovery planning. We help those affected by addiction rebuild trust, improve communication, and restore balance in their relationships through evidence-based treatment and compassionate care.
How Addiction Changes Behavior in Relationships
Addiction changes how a person thinks, feels, and interacts with others. The addicted person often loses interest in shared goals and routines, replacing them with the need to use drugs or alcohol. When this happens, trust issues develop, communication breaks down, and emotional distance grows. Partners may begin to feel isolated or responsible for fixing the situation, which can lead to exhaustion and resentment.
Substance use disorder affects both mental health and physical health. Regular drug use or drinking can alter brain chemistry, increasing irritability and creating mood swings. These changes cause a decline in the addicted person’s well-being and make it hard to maintain healthy relationships. Without treatment, these patterns become stronger, and the relationship continues to suffer.
Typical Addict Behavior in Relationships
Certain behavior patterns often appear when addiction is present in a relationship. Recognizing these tell-tale signs can help loved ones respond before the damage becomes worse. Common examples include:
- Lying or making excuses to hide drinking and drug use
- Sudden emotional outbursts or withdrawal from communication
- Neglecting work, family, or household duties
- Spending money recklessly or hiding financial problems
- Becoming emotionally unavailable or showing little empathy
- Blaming others for their drug use or alcohol abuse
These behaviors can cause harm to both partners and may increase the risk of physical abuse or domestic violence. Over time, emotional connection fades, and the addicted loved one becomes isolated from friends and family. This pattern of withdrawal and avoidance makes recovery more difficult and often leads to further conflict.
Why Addicted Behavior Happen
Addiction affects the brain’s reward system. Drugs or alcohol trigger intense pleasure that temporarily relieves stress or pain, but this comes with negative consequences. Over time, the brain becomes dependent on these addictive substances to feel normal. The person begins to prioritize the substance over their partner, family, or responsibilities.
Many addicted people also experience mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or trauma. When both conditions occur together, it’s known as dual diagnosis. This combination often increases mood swings and risky behaviors, damaging relationships even further. Effective substance abuse treatment addresses both addiction and mental health so recovery can last and relationships can heal.
How Addiction Affects Partners and Families
When one partner abuses substances, everyone connected to them feels the impact. The abuser’s partner often experiences fear, guilt, and emotional exhaustion. They may feel responsible for keeping the relationship stable and start neglecting their own needs. Constant stress can affect their physical health, leading to fatigue, headaches, or sleep problems.
According to a study, couples where one partner struggles with drugs or alcohol report higher levels of unhappiness and frequent arguments. The research shows that substance use can create a cycle where drinking or drug use causes conflict, and that conflict leads to more substance use, making it difficult for the relationship to recover.
Family members are also affected. Children may feel confusion or shame when a parent’s behavior changes. Extended family often steps in to help, but this can create tension and strain. Over time, relationships affected by addiction become filled with blame, secrecy, and emotional pain. Recognizing these effects is the first step toward repair and recovery.
Codependency and Enabling Behaviors
Codependency develops when one person becomes too focused on another’s addiction. The partner may make excuses, pay their bills, or hide their drinking or drug use from others. These enabling behaviors feel supportive, but often keep the addicted person from seeing the real consequences of their actions.
Setting healthy boundaries is key. Boundaries help both partners protect their well-being and prevent further harm. A healthy relationship depends on honesty and accountability, not control or avoidance. Learning to stop enabling and start communicating is one of the most effective ways to begin repairing damaged relationships and encourage lasting recovery.
When Relationships Become Unsafe
Substance abuse can create unsafe situations at home. Increased irritability, anger, and confusion caused by drug or alcohol use can lead to verbal or physical abuse. Domestic violence is a serious sign that help is needed immediately. If a loved one’s behavior becomes threatening, partners and family members should seek safety before confronting the addicted person.
A treatment professional can help assess the risk and recommend next steps. Getting professional help does not only protect the victim but also allows the addicted person to start recovery. No one should stay in a relationship where their safety or mental health is at risk.
Treatment Options for Addiction and Relationships
Addiction treatment helps both the individual and their relationships recover. Treatment programs often include individual counseling, group counseling, and family therapy. These sessions teach healthy communication skills and strategies to rebuild trust. Involving partners in the process helps both people understand each other’s roles and needs in recovery.
Professional treatment addresses the underlying causes of substance use disorder, including trauma, stress, or mental health issues. Options may include therapy, medication support, or structured outpatient care. Many treatments also include support groups that provide accountability and shared experiences with others facing similar challenges. Entering treatment is the most effective step toward healing both the person and the relationship.
If you’re looking for support that helps both partners heal together, we offer Couples Substance Use Treatment designed to strengthen communication and rebuild trust. This program focuses on addressing addiction’s impact on both individuals and their relationships, helping couples develop healthy coping skills while working toward recovery as a team. Our outpatient approach allows partners to receive therapy, counseling, and support that fit their schedules and needs.
Rebuilding a Healthy Relationship After Addiction
Recovery does not end after detox or counseling. Both partners must work to rebuild trust and maintain healthy boundaries. This means honest communication, respect for limits, and shared responsibility. Learning to express feelings safely helps prevent future conflict and encourages a stronger emotional bond.
Self-care is also necessary for loved ones. Taking time to rest, seek therapy, and connect with support groups helps partners recover from stress. Over time, these small steps create a new foundation for a healthy relationship. Relationships can heal when both people commit to honesty, accountability, and consistent effort.
When a Loved One Refuses Help
Sometimes, a loved one will not admit they have a problem. This situation is painful, but forcing treatment rarely works. The most effective approach is calm communication and clear limits. Express concern without blame, and encourage professional help when they are ready.
Protecting your well-being matters too. Boundaries help reduce emotional damage and prevent further chaos. Support groups for family members can provide practical advice and emotional relief while waiting for the addicted loved one to accept help. Change often takes time, but consistent boundaries and professional guidance can make it possible.
Couples Substance Use Treatment at Rego Park Counseling
At Rego Park Counseling, we help couples and families recover from addiction together. Our programs combine substance abuse treatment and mental health counseling to rebuild trust and communication. We offer outpatient and telehealth services designed to meet the needs of people living in Queens and the greater New York City area.
Our treatment options include individual counseling, group counseling, and couples therapy. Each plan is customized to address substance use, emotional connection, and long-term wellness. Contact us today to learn how our programs can help you or your loved one begin a healthier recovery journey.
Conclusion
Addict behavior in relationships can cause emotional, financial, and physical harm that extends beyond the couple. Understanding these behaviors and recognizing their impact helps families and partners take meaningful action. With the right treatment and boundaries, recovery and relationship repair are possible. Healing requires patience, honesty, and commitment from everyone involved.
At Rego Park Counseling, we provide outpatient programs that combine addiction treatment and mental health counseling. Our goal is to help individuals and couples rebuild trust, improve communication, and find stability together. Contact us to learn more about our substance abuse treatment options in Queens, NY.
FAQs
What is a typical addict behavior in a relationship?
Typical addict behavior in relationships includes lying, making excuses, mood swings, emotional distance, and neglecting responsibilities. These behaviors often lead to mistrust, isolation, and conflict between partners.
What are the personality traits of an addict?
Common personality traits of people struggling with addiction include impulsivity, low self-esteem, poor stress control, and emotional instability. They may also show denial, guilt, or avoidance when confronted about substance use.
What is it like to be in a relationship with an addict?
Being in a relationship with an addict can feel unpredictable and stressful. Partners often deal with broken trust, emotional neglect, and constant worry about their loved one’s well-being.
How to cope with an addict partner?
Coping with an addict partner requires setting healthy boundaries, seeking support groups, and focusing on self-care. Encourage professional treatment, but protect your safety and emotional health at all times.